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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28856721">Build a home with me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortaIized/pseuds/immortaIized'>immortaIized</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Arguing, Beaches, Best Friends, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Doctors, Dream is sick, Fights, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Hospitals, Kissing, Lots of Arguing, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Sick Character, Sickfic, but they work it out, dreamnotfound, george tries to be a good friend for him, george visits dream, uncurable</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:01:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28856721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortaIized/pseuds/immortaIized</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“But the other day, while you were sleeping, I came to the realization that the reason I love you so much is because you allow me to love this much, you made my heart bigger, you opened my eyes to a world where I could love you, and kiss you, and tell you sweet nothings into the dead of night because you exist.”</p><p>“I want you to remember that, so that when you think of me, it won't hurt, it’ll only make you feel undying, unwavering love. So that my memory isn't tied to loss only to smiles, and laughs, and everything that has ever made you happy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Build a home with me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i am sorry :')</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>George’s entire life had been held up by one principle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Protecting yourself before others</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because how will you ever protect someone else if you’re dead? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This principle, held so close to his heart, caused him to begin to build walls, a shelter for his heart from the rest of the world. George was good at this, building walls. He was a master architect when it came to shielding his feelings, he was one of the brightest engineers when it came to guardian his secrets, his fears, his insecurities. And he built them brick by brick, each brick an experience, a let down, an embarrassment, a misspoken word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brick by brick George's wall became taller and near impossible to break. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was, until he met Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meeting Dream, knowing him, was confusing. He was an anti-hero, a paradox, a puzzle George would never solve, pieces gone missing or forgotten. Dream was someone he couldn't bear to lose, because he knew that the minute that happened George was screwed. He had approached the wall George had so meticulously built, walked up to it, and with one word, one smile, had carved his way in. He had made a door that perfectly fit him, had made an entrance into Georges heart so easily that he’d never understand how.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as the relationship got closer, as they became better friends, as George inevitably grew feelings he didn't dare approach, things changed. Dynamics shift, and power was thrown off. Dream no longer had an entrance into George's heart, he had the key. He could waltz around the walls, the spires, and castles, and all the bricks placed by George, all his protections, he could see right through them. Dream would always be able to read him, hear him, understand him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It scared him more than he wanted it to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George! Please, pretty please, pretty pretty please?” Dream begged, almost groveling in the hopes that George would agree to his ridiculous plan. George smiled, and although Dream couldn't see it, he could practically hear it when George responded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I am not, will not, be committing marriage fraud just to get citizenship in the U.S. that's ridiculous Dream.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not,” Dream whines, pretending to sob in the hopes to sway George's opinion, “I just wanna see you!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you don't need to commit marriage fraud for that to happen! Literally just click on the stream.” George laughs as he grabs his water bottle and takes a quick drink. He and Dream continue to banter and mess around on the SMP for about 45 more minutes before George feels tired enough to call it quits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright i think i'm going to end the stream now. Bye everyone!” George says, waiting out the last couple donations, before hitting “end stream” and stretching in his chair. He groans and rubs his eyes, before hearing his name being called by the man across the line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm? What.” George mumbles, groggy from streaming for so long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George?” Dream asks again, to which George responds with a small yes, and furrows his eyebrows. He’d never once heard Dream speak so unsure of himself, borderline nervous. He scoots up into his desk and clicks onto discord where he can see him and Dreams names on the call. “Would you ever consider, like, not marriage fraud, obviously that's illegal. But like..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream stops there, hoping to prevent anything more embarrassing spew out from his mouth, and tries again, “What i'm trying to say is, would you be okay with visiting? Like are you against the idea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George’s eyes widened. For one, he’s surprised that Dream would doubt his enthusiasm about meeting Dream, and two, it was a very blunt question. While Dream isn't known for beating around the bush, this sudden proposal threw him for a loop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course i'm not against the idea, i'd love to go visit if that's what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait really?” Dream asks, surprised. To which George confirms again, “yeah idiot of course id want to go meet you, is it really that surprising to you?” George blames himself for not being so open about his feelings, for the walls he had built, the protection he had encased himself in. He hated coming off so cold, so dry. While he often grew insecure of this, Dream had assured him that he wasn't cold or dry, but George would still doubt that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any reason for the sudden suggestion?” George teases, afraid of the subtly growing tension between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no not really.” Dream says offhandedly, audibly distracted by whatever he was doing on the other end of the line. George frowned, the dynamic between their lighthearted banter had quickly changed to a more secluded, unsure, and borderline mysterious tension. George felt that Dream wasn’t telling him the whole truth, but he decided not to push.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, if you say so.” and to this Dream chuckles, and responds with a curt, “yeah i did say so, nothing to worry about.” and just like that the dynamic shifted once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation lulls, and George takes this time to think about what must have been going through Dreams mind, he was concerned at Dreams sudden change in mood, and the tension was still circling overhead, not yet having dissipated from their current conversation. George frowns, and thinks more into what Dream had said. He’d try to be as genuine and clear with his words, but for the life of him it always got lost in translation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream clears his throat and mutters a rushed goodbye, obviously strained from the tension that had increasingly grown in the call, and while George couldn't blame him, he was still bummed about the loss of his friend. He sighs, mutters a goodbye to himself, and sits up in his chair. He opted to cook himself something to eat, rather than sit there and over analyze everything Dream had said in the short conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>5 minutes later with a salad wrap in hand, George crept up the stairs again, careful to not tip over the plate in his hand, he sits back down on his desk and aimlessly scrolls through his youtube recommended before choosing a vaguely interesting video and leaning back to enjoy his meal. He watched whatever was happening on screen in vague interest, and let his mind wander for a little longer. He really tried to unravel the mess he had made of himself and his thoughts. He was stuck unraveling and rerolling everything Dream had said at the start of the stream, through the stream and the short after conversation. But the longer he sat there the more confusing his muddled thoughts became.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chalking it up to sleep deprivation, he gets up and puts his plate on the table adjacent to his keyboard and changes into sleep clothes, he crawls under breath and let the warmth of the blankets encase him, as he’s about to drift off he hears his familiar ringtone for Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He groggily grabs for his phone on his nightstand, not bothering to turn around and actually look for the phone he fumbles for a couple of seconds and he can hear Dreams ringtone ring a couple more times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He-Hello?” George greets, voice cracking as he tries to clear the sleepiness from his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, were you sleeping?” He hears Dream ask over the line, “I’ll call later then, sorry about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha- no no, I was about to sleep but it can wait ‘till after, what’s up Dream?” George tells him, sitting up on his bed and hunching over, resting his head on his knees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream hums, before apologizing again and insisting it can wait until the morning, “Dream I swear to god, if you don't tell me right now i'm going to slap you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears Dream laugh across the line, and smiles to himself before pushing Dream to spill, “Okay! Okay! I wanted you to check your email.” Dream confesses, and George rolls his eyes before moving to his gmail, and opening the app.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to ask Dream what he was looking for before he saw something that caught his eye, a forwarded email from an airline company, from Dream. George furrows his eyebrows in confusion. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s no way Dream actually bought plane tickets somewhere, especially not where George’s mind was telling him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>George opens the email up, and his breath hitches. Before his stomach drops, they're not plane tickets for Dream. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They’re plane tickets for him.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream… I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it?” Dream asks, naivety painfully clear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream I don't know what to say,” George laughs, completely taken aback at the gesture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we’ve known eachother long enough, we should finally get to meet in person. so I thought i'd fly you out and you can stay with me for a little. It'll be fun right? I'm sure it is gonna be the best trip ever, i'm gonna make it the best trip ever.” Dream tells himself more than George, and George can practically hear Dream become more and more unsure the longer it took for him to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love it, when is it supposed to leave?” George tells him to which Dream sighs out of relief and tells him it leaves the following week. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I'll pack my bags then. Looking forward to it! You know what else I'm looking forward to, sleeping. So goodnight Dream” George mumbles, yawing as he goes to end the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good night George, see you soon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>____</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>George isn't a liar</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he tries not to lie, but it's embarrassing how much he lies to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't like lying to himself, but he’d be lying if he said he didn't do it often. Especially when it comes to Dream, he’s been lying to himself about that since he first started growing feelings for the man. Soon he was head over heels for him. But what was he to do?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he did do was ignore it, they were right when they said ignorance is bliss. He decided that if he kept his mouth shut, the close tight knit relationship George had ever so painstakingly built with Dream, the castle he decorated to Dreams liking, was going to stay the same. So that’s what he did, he ignored it, suppressed it, pushed to the darkest corners of George’s castle, the </span>
  <span>darkest crevices of George's walls. Muddled between bricks, between laughs, memories, the feelings were left unconfronted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the thing about that, was that everywhere he turned he was painfully reminded of who was so openly waltzing through George’s halls. The man he refused to look at with feelings anything more than platonic, the man he was scared of losing, the man who had so much power over George it scares him to death, was there. While not physically, he could see the sweater out of the corner of his eye, the image that Dream had sent him not so long ago, still ever present in George's heart. He could see countless objects that, after years of knowing the man, he had tied to Dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could see every word, every compliment, argument, every mistake, memory, moment, everything that tied George to Dream carved into Georges walls. If he ran his fingers down the bricks, he could feel the indents of Dreams years with him. Sometimes when he’s missing him, he runs his hand over the memories along the walls built around George’s heart. He revisits the times where he laughed so hard he couldn't breathe, the times he was left speechless at one of Dream’s crude jokes, the times that he made Dream laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George doesn’t lie to Dream, but he tends to withhold much of the truth. He doesn't lie when he says he likes him, but doesn’t tell him how much. He doesn't lie when he says that he misses him, but he doesn't tell him of the hours he spent contemplating calling. He doesn't lie when he says he’d die for Dream, but he’s never put that in words. Most of these emotions, falling just short of being put into a verbal confirmation, caught in George’s throat. Fear of the consequences holds him back, and while he’s never told Dream a lot of what he’s felt he’s sure Dream knows just as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A week later George was on his way to the airport, his leg bouncing due to nerves. He was on the phone with Dream, and while it just made him more nervous and anxious to be there already, his soothing voice was enough to ease the edge off, just a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream, I'm literally going to be boarding in a couple of hours, we have time.” George laughs, after Dream was rushing him to hurry to the airport. George smiled fondly at his friend’s laugh, and shakes himself for smiling. He couldn't be thinking about him like that. It wasn’t safe for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanna see you already!” Dream whines, and George could all but see him pouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a couple of hours, be patient you big baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not being a baby!” Dream retorts, “if anything you're being the baby here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How am I being a baby?! You were literally just whining.” George argues, pulling into the airport parking lot. Him and Dream continue to bicker uselessly about who's the bigger baby as George checks in and makes his way to the boarding area. He hangs up with Dream as he is passing security, and then makes it to his boarding area in a good amount of time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His plane doest depart for another 30 minutes, so to kill time George scrolls through his social media feed before checking through notifications and texts from some friends and family. Finally, his gate gets called, and he walks up to board. Not new to flying, once he finds his seat, he puts his carry-ons in the overhead compartment before sitting down and waiting for further instruction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the stewardess had gone through the safety material, he buckled and they took off shortly after. George passed most of the time watching complementary movies or sleeping, and before he knew it he was landing in Florida. He looked out the window and watched as they descended over the bustling city overhead, if he had to guess it was either Miami, Orlando, or Tallahassee but he wasn't too big into US geography, but assuming that it's somewhat near where Dream lives, he guessed Orlando. They touch the ground and come to a stop, rolling into the gateway, and George waits for the other passengers to get up and leave before stepping out himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once outside the airplane, he instantly noticed the changes in air temperature and the humidity. He grumpily smoothed his hair down and made his way to the immigration and security check booths. Once he made his way through, although it took almost 2 hours, he groggily walked to the baggage claiming area, waiting for his bags to make their way around again. George texts Dream to let him know he landed and is at the baggage claim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He receives a short response, assuming Dream is driving, and pockets his phone before spotting his luggage. He grabs it just as it's about to pass and stations the suitcases he had on a suitcase cart, before rolling it up to the entrance. Once he got there, he alerted Dream of which gate pick up/drop off he was at and waited for him to pull up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>About 15 minutes later he sees a tesla pull up next to him, and the window rolls down. He's greeted with an excited, “George!” from a voice George could all but forget, and his eyes widen as he finally realizes who's driving the car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream?” George asks, surprise dripping from his voice, almost tangible in the humid air surrounding them. He laughs, and walks up to the car, “I didn’t know you had such a nice ride.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I'm not usually really into flashy cars but it was a good deal and I thought why not. Anyways it’s very lowkey, doesn’t yell ‘i use money to compensate for my lack of confidence, using flashy items to make up for it’ i think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez didn't have to call out half the people who buy these types of cars,” George grins, and Dream only smiles before popping the trunk open to haul George’s luggage in. George offers to help but Dream brushes him off, insisting that he’s okay. George shrugs, and walks over to the passenger seat, before pulling the door open once Dream sits inside the drivers side. He gets comfortable as Dream pulls out of the busy airport parking lot, and heads down the freeway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While George isn’t a big fan of silence, often feeling awkward and out of place, the silence in Dream’s car was strangely comforting, more welcoming and friendly. Shortly after he pulls off the highway and strikes up a conversation, “So, how was the plane ride?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George hums before responding, “It was okay, long but at least no crying babies or annoying passengers.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good, are you hungry? We can stop somewhere to get food, or I could make something at home but I don’t know what I have in my fridge,” Dream rambles, before George cuts him off and tells him that stopping for food isn’t a bad idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, anything in mind? I know a couple good burger joints near my house where we  can sit down and eat? Or we can get takeout?” Dream asks, keeping his eyes on the road only shooting hurried glances at George. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would say sit down, but i've been sitting down for so long, I really need to stretch my legs.” George replies, stretching out in the passenger seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, i'll just order in, and once we get settled, we can go for a walk around town? I could show you a couple places if you need to get moving. Other than that I think we should be good.” Dream plans out loud, and George only smiles in answer. They pull into his driveway a couple minutes later, and George turns around to grab his suitcases. Dream and him walk inside and Dream gives him a small tour before showing him to his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The house is nice, a large middle class home in downtown Orlando. It had a roomy kitchen that was parallel to the living room, and once past the entrance hallway it opened up so that you could see almost the entire downstairs floor. A half wall was the only thing separating the two rooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking past, they made their way up the stairs and the second landing opened up into a cozy den that had a desk and bookshelves set up nicely. A hallway connected to it led to the two guest rooms, the opposite end being the master bedroom. Dream opened up the first door on the left and led George in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here is your room, feel free to make yourself at home. It’s not very decorated, but since we haven't really decided when you’d be leaving I thought that you could have some liberty to make it more you,” Dream says, rubbing his neck nervously. George grins, appreciating the thoughtful gesture, and sets his backpack and suitcases down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice! I like it. You have a very nice home, Dream.” George adds, walking out with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks! I wouldn’t have got such a large home, but my family likes to spend time over so I thought why not. Plus, it was in my budget and the neighbor was very nice.” Dream explains, walking into the kitchen and grabbing his food, “I'm gonna order takeout. Anything you want specifically?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you think would be good is better than airplane food, my only special request is lemonade,” George answers, laying down on the couch. Dream laughs at him before dialling a pizza place. The room fell into silence again, and George wondered what was the cause for the long periods of silence. Usually, when they talk on the phone or through discord, silence is short and often filled by mindless chatter about their days or what they’re doing. Currently, the silence was beginning to border on suffocating, and while it wasn't awkward, George feared Dream felt it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speaking of which, George takes the lull and uses it as an excuse to actually get a better look at Dream. While he’s seen pictures of his face, this is the first time they’ve met in real person, and a lot of the more minute details stick out. Like the freckles that gently coat his face, or how the bridge of his nose is just slightly crooked, or how he holds himself when he feels comfortable. A lot of the time he finds himself admiring Dream's face while he’s on the phone, finally having a clearer image of what Dream looks like while he speaks. His face gives away half of what he's thinking, and George knows that while he's extremely articulate, Dream talks with his body half the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's endearing in a way, and while George might suppress the reasons for him coming to that conclusion, it didn't change the outcome. Even if he felt that they were walking on eggshells around each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream was always so open with him, and right now it seemed neither of them could hold a conversation longer than a couple of minutes, never anything but shallow small talk. It worried George, had he not been what Dream wanted in real life? Was it going to be this way the rest of his time here? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George decided that it doesn't help for him to dwell on it, rather suppress the growing paranoia and shove it in the same corner he kept any of his bottled up feelings for his friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream muttered a thanks, and dropped his phone on the counter before turning around and telling George the food should be here soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything you want to do during your stay in Florida?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made a list of places I wanted to visit, I can give it to you.” George tells him, cheeks flushing in embarrassment, but quickly smiles when Dream breaks out into a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, we’ll go anywhere you wanna go, anything for you.” Dream tells him, voice surprisingly soft and if Georges cheeks weren't already red they definitely are now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, here it's in my backpack let me go grab it,” George excuses himself, hyper aware of his burning face and Dreams eyes on him. He walks up the stairs and into the guest room, and pulls open his backpack numbly as his thoughts raced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't do it, not like Dream did. Dream was always so sure of himself, he never doubted what he said, or debates on what he's going to say. Unlike George, Dream walks with an aura of confidence that follows him. And as much as George wishes it was the same for him, he never felt comfortable in his skin. Especially when it came to Dream. He was a bundle of nerves, set on edge every time he was around him fearing he’d embarrass himself. And yet even when he did, Dream never made him feel any less for having those silly awful moments that keep George awake at night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For however much George’s walls crack around Dream, Dream is always there to patch them up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks out of the room, holding the list he wrote on a napkin handed to him on the plane, and makes it back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, sorry it's kinda messy i just wanted to remember what i wanted to see,” George says, flustered as he hands over the napkin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dreams eyes widen, and he gently grabs the napkin, laying it down on the counter top and reading it. His eyes sweeping over Georges scrawl, a ghost of a smile on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A couple moments later, just before George was about to begin rambling again Dream speaks up, voice softer than George would have expected, “We can go to downtown Miami this week, and then Disney world is close, we could go to Disney Springs tomorrow night actually, go eat somewhere nice, if that's what you’d like.” He looks up at George, who's caught staring. George smiles and nods, before Dream continues, voice a little more brazen, “a lot of the places listed aren't too far from here, so we could touch all of those spots, maybe even vlog it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To that George’s eyebrows raise, and Dream quickly explains. “For the memories! Obviously we wouldn't be posting them.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay that sounds really nice!” and before George could say anything there was a knock at the door, Dream goes to answer it and walks back with a couple bags of food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dinners here,” Dream tells him, setting down the bags on the countertop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice, what did we get?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chicken sandwiches, a salad, chips, and drinks, I got you your lemonade, it's a large hope you don't mind,” Dream lists, and George walks up to the kitchen countertop to meet him. He hums as Dream passes a bag to him, and he opens it up to find some sort of cheeseburger that looks really tasty, he goes to grab it but a hand is catching his wrist before he could. He looks over in surprise and Dream goes red, “Sorry, i was gonna get you a plate,” George pulls back and watches Dream get up and pull out a drawer, trying to busy himself from his thoughts that were racing far too fast for George to really grasp</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with his methods, he still couldn't get over the sensation that Dream grabbing his wrist brought him, if he wasn't already pink in the cheeks from the warmth surrounding them, he's sure they would have warmed. He was flustered, that was certain, but whether Dream knew or not was out of his knowing. He subconsciously rubbed his wrist, a shiver running through his spine before he was brought back to earth by the sound of a plate clattering onto the marble counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, sorry about that, didn't wanna make a mess.” Dream smiles, and George only nods before digging into the cheeseburger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They continue to talk aimlessly about whatever was happening in the world, never really delving into it, mere casual talk. Before they knew it the clock struck just past 10pm and George was beginning to feel the effects of jet lag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes were visibly dropping and George was dangerously slipping off his stool, he had propped up his elbow to rest his head, perfectly content listening to Dream ramble about whatever he was talking about at the time, but the longer the time went by the more he teetered over nearly falling. He thinks it’s fine, normally he would excuse himself but he felt warm and cozy and drowning in the comfort of Dream’s voice. He doesn't notice himself lean too far forward and especially doesn't realize he's falling until a strong pair of arms wrap around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah there Georgie!! Seems you're falling asleep on me,” Dream chuckles, and George can feel his check move with his laugh. His faces burn, and he horribly gets up too quickly for him to regain balance, nearly falling again if it wasn't for Dream stumbling up and stopping him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit- Jesus i'm sorry i guess i was more tired than i thought,” George says, cheeks flush a deeper shade of red, and George refuses to look Dream in the eye. Dream laughs before speaking up again, voice still strained from laughing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does this mean i can say you fell for me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shut up!” George says, “i'm gonna go to bed on that note” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George turns before Dream can see his cheeks grow impossibly read at the endearing goodnight Dream gave him, he mumbled a response and walks up the stairs into his bedroom, he changes quickly and throws himself down. He sighs, and tries to calm his racing heart, who still hasn't calmed down from his mortifying interaction with Dream earlier. He shuts his eyes and tells his brain to stop talking. But even then he couldn't stop thinking about the entire dinner mishap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If George didn't lie to himself, he’d tell himself it was flirting. But he hates the entire idea of there being any chance of Dream liking him back. Distantly he hears the sounds of the house winding down, Dream picking up the kitchen and turning off the lights. He frowns, cursing himself for not offering to help, but he quickly remembers he was practically falling asleep in Dream's arms, and decided that hiding from Dream and his feelings would do him better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can hear Dream walk up the stairs, before stopping at his door. It swings open slowly, and George keeps his eyes shut, before he hears a sigh, a quiet goodnight and 3 more words that made George nearly fall off his bed before he remembered he was supposed to be asleep. His heart hammers against his chest, almost drowning out the noise around him. But he hears Dream close the door and walks away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George holds his breath until he hears the master bedroom door shut and the footsteps fade, before getting up and sitting at the edge of the bed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This had to be a coincidence. Or he doesn't mean it romantically, it's perfectly valid he meant it in a strictly platonic way. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>George continues to try to calm his racing heart, and come up with reasons for why Dream would have said that, before throwing away any of the reasons behind it and just focusing on the fact he said it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dream loves him, romantically or not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>George fades into sleep moments later, succumbing to the persistent begging of his body to rest since the moment he got here, and he lets himself go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning he's nervous, for whatever reason. He is terrified of facing Dream and having his face give away all the racing thoughts passing through him, but even then the thought of spending the morning with Dream won him over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were so many signs of George's walls cracking, and yet he didn't seem to care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks down to the kitchen and notices that Dream had cooked them both breakfast, a cup of coffee sat at the counter and he sat himself on the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning! I made you coffee, but i don't really know how you like it so i didn't put any creamer in it,” Dream greets him, passing over the creamer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, good morning to you too by the way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream nods and turns back to the food on the stove, “So plan for today, we go down to the beach, hit some shopping centers, do some ridiculously stupid tourist things, maybe stop for dinner if we have the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George nods before realizing that Dream cant see him before vocally confirming and taking a sip of his coffee. He watches Dream cook, eggs and sausages it looks like, and watches as he hummed a popular pop song under his breath. The whole scene was so domestic that George wouldn't mind if all his mornings were like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After breakfast was served, they split up to get ready, and shortly after were leaving to head to the beach, 45 minutes later Dream was parking in the lot near the shore, and pulling out their chairs and food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After finding a nice spot ways away from the other visitors, they set up camp, and propped up the umbrella they had packed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George smiled, admiring the scenery around them, the beaches in Florida were vastly different than the beaches in England. He sits down and gently admires the beautiful horizon before being rudely interrupted by sand hitting his shin repeatedly. He squints, and ignores it, but soon enough there's more sand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want,” George says, not looking at the culprit, who he knows is Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna go in the water?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George contemplates, on one hand he wasn't a big swimmer, but he didn't want to turn down Dream, “sure, gimme a second i need to put sunscreen on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Dream responds as he stands up and takes his shirt off. George flushes red and all of a sudden becomes extremely interested in the sunscreen he was putting on, tactically avoiding Dream's bare chest. But at some point, there was only so much sunscreen he needed, and he eventually had to turn to Dream who was also spraying some sunscreen on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He peels his own shirt off, balling it up and tossing it to the side, before rubbing his arm again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey George?” Dream asks, and George turns to him, Dream hands the spray sunscreen to him and asks sheepishly, “Do you think you could put some on my back for me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George’s mouth drops a little, before he regains his composer and nods, he walks over and grades the sunscreen before spraying some on his back. While doing so, he contemplates if Dream would like him to rub it in or just leave it, but George decides to be nice and rub it in for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as his hand makes contact with Dreams back he can feel him tense, and while unexpected George doesn't pull back before rubbing in the sunscreen in circles, trying his hardest to make sure his blush doesn’t worsen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he was done he realized he also hadn’t put on sunscreen. He tentatively looked at Dream who was idly scrolling through his phone. As if he could feel someone staring he looks up and meets Georges eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something up?” George quickly shakes his head before raising the sunscreen bottle and Dream gets the hint. He smiles and walks over to him, grabbing the bottle and spreading some onto his back, George hopes the red on his cheeks isn't obvious from where Dream was standing. No matter, he’d just blame it on the sun, it would pass off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!” grateful for the help George smiles at him, and runs to the ocean shore, Dream following him close after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George stops just before the water reaches his feet, hesitating before stepping in. To his surprise, the water is warm enough to not have to adjust and ventures further in. Dream on the other hand had runs right into the water, not giving a second thought to the temperature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, It's nice out here!” Dream shouts, and George laughs, “George! Get your ass over here already!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George only continues to laugh, and crosses his arms, staying where he was. He looks down and watches the waves lapse over his feet, the sound of waves crashing engulfing his sense, the salt of the sea spray clings to his nose, he can hear seagulls squawking somewhere in the distance. He’s so focused on his surroundings he didn't even notice Dream had approached him, and was especially taken by surprise when he could feel himself being swept off his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream wheezes, but doesnt let him go, he holds his hand against Dreams back in an attempt to not get a face full of ass, he rests easily over Dreams shoulder, and Dream runs towards the ocean at full speed as if he wasn't holding an entire person over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George continues to protest, and pester Dream to let him go, eventually he does, but he does this by throwing him into the ocean. George gets up, and glares at Dream, although he’s sure he doesn't look frightening with his hair plastered down on his face and dripping from everywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream continues to laugh at his stunt, and George rolls his eyes, “What's so funny dumbass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, just you falling into the ocean, hilarious, I wish I could have got it on video.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your phone would get wet, a terrible idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! That reminds me,” Dream turns and runs back to shore, leaving George bobbing up and down due to the waves, he comes back in a couple of minutes, holding a water proof phone case and his phone, “I brought this so we could vlog it and not worry about it getting wet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream inserts the phone carefully, in order to not get any water inside, and hits record once he finishes, “Hi George! This is Dream from the past, if your currently watching this then i would assume you're gonna remember what happens next.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream smiles mischievously, and George figures out a second too late what he was planning, before he could tell him no he was being tackled into the next wave that crashes over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He panics, the impact knocked the air out of his lungs, and the wave that had just crashed over them had turned him around, so George had no idea which way was up. He thrashes in the direction he thinks is the surface. Finally, as he was about to run out of air he breaks through, and wades to the shore, completely ignoring whatever Dream was yelling at him about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George! Hey, where are you going!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When gets to the shore he sits down on the sand and lays back, catching his breath before he hears Dream walk up to him, phone in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” George replies, still breathless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I almost died, that's what.” George gasps out, looking at Dream perched over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You tackled me idiot, I wasn't ready and then I couldn't find the surface.” Dream frowns, guilt masking his face, “I'm okay though, wasn't your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it was, I tackled you.” Dream says, sitting down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah but you couldn't control the wave, so it wasn't your fault. Besides, it was funny, just terrible terrible timing.” George laughs, looking at Dream who was now laying next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that's enough ocean for us today,” Dream snickers, rolling over to look at George, “What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm, I agree.” George replies, standing up and walking over to their umbrella.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent the rest of the day walking around the boardwalk and buying cheesy souvenirs, and George could feel himself fall deeper and deeper in love for the stupid, idiot, dumbass friend in front of him. If he was truly honest with himself, he’d admit that there was a chance Dream liked him back, but his brain shut the idea down before he was able to truly digest it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the next two weeks passed the same, they either went sightseeing, or they stayed home and watched movies, or played video games. Dream vlogged as much as he could too. Soon they grew a routine that George was happy to accustom to, it was domestic, and as much as George was enjoying it, the growing pit of butterflies every time he saw Dream was getting hard to ignore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George would be the first one to admit, both of them were flirting, there were moments where Dream said something that made George’s heart skip a beat. Hands skimming each other, hugs that lasted a little too long, looks that were a little too loving to be just platonic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to keep lying to himself, but he couldn't bear heartbreak, especially with someone who meant so much to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what do you want to do today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, i'm actually busy today, i need to go to a doctors appointment, so you can probably bum around here till i get back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That wasn't an answer George was expecting, “oh!” he takes a step back, and quickly suggests a new plan, “why don't i come with you? We can go to lunch afterwards and then maybe catch a movie?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To this Dream’s eyes widen, and he immediately refuses, which stings more than George wanted it to. Growing self conscious, and a little embarrassed at the rejection, he mutters an okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry George, I don't want to make you wait the entire time, i'd rather you stay here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so that's what he ends up doing, he lounges around the house, spending more time with Patches and the TV. At some point he grew bored enough to cook himself something to pass the time, and he was about halfway through a serving of pasta carbonara, when he heard the lock click and the door swing open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream walks in, and George goes to greet him before he sees how he's holding himself. His shoulders are dropped, no longer the usual confident demeanor he holds himself with, he looks close to tears, as if he just received the worst news in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drops his keys in the table next to the entrance, and perks up when he smells the freshly cooked meal George had cooked. He smiles at him, although it doesn't quite reach his eyes, and George can tell that there's something wrong. He chooses to let it go, sensing that Dream wasn't in the mood to talk about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” George greets, trying to lighten the mood. Unfortunately it falls flat, and Dream only nods at him before grabbing a plate George had served for him, and heading up the stairs to his room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George recoils at this, usually Dream is a pretty open person, and isn't one to hide away his own feelings. He wonders if it's something to do with the doctors, but the idea of that is too scary for him to want to think about. His mind drifts back to Dream again, but this time it's more of his untapped feelings for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George wants to confess, the weight of all of his love, longing, and frustrations about Dream are holding him back, and he truly wants to enjoy his time here. But the fear of rejection hurts, a stabbing pain in his heart, as if it's trying to warn him of what could happen if he actually told Dream everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He debated going up to Dreams room and just spilling everything then and there, the pent up pressure that had been growing since he landed almost too much to bear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he stopped himself, and remembered their previous interaction. Dream was closed off, upset, and obviously struggling with something. As much as George wanted to be the person he turned to, it was clear Dream didn't want to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So George didn't go, he ate his food, and went to his own room, and layed down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream and George live an ocean apart, yet he's never felt so disconnected from Dream than right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can hear sniffling and subdued sobs coming from the adjacent room, and his heart burns at it. He wanted nothing more but to go across the hallway and comfort him, but his logical side was convinced that he could not talk to Dream. Especially when he was so vulnerable, even if he didnt want Dream to be alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually his brain won his heart over, and he was forced to listen to Dream’s cries from his room. Even though it was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. He didn't want to embarrass Dream, happier to just pretend it didn't happen for Dreams sake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s been doing that a lot. Pretending, pretending that his feelings for his best friend weren't there, pretending that he wasn't hurting, pretending that some part of his mind knew that Dream had feelings for him. He pretended that the walls he had built for himself hadn’t slowly begun to deteriorate during his stay with Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually he fell asleep, and Dreams cries wore out, but when the morning came around things returned to normal. Just as they had been before yesterday. Dream greeted him with a cup of coffee and a smile, and they went out for breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't stay that way, hours later Dream was more closed off, small smiles and short conversations where the limit to the interaction George got, and the next couple of days were miserable. They didn't go out, but they barely talked, it was like living with someone he’s never met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George reached his breaking point six days after Dream’s doctor appointment</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had planned for him to stay a month or so, and his plane was supposed to leave two weeks from now. Ever since their trip to the doctors, it had basically ruined their vacation, and he was frustrated and upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They're eating dinner, something that was awkward at best or just downright terrible at its worst. The air is so thick George struggles to swallow. He can hear every single thing happening, from the fork scraping the plate, to the sound of his own chewing. He's driven almost insane from the deafening silence. It was almost like talking to a brick wall. George continues to try and strike up conversation but all he gets are hums and simple nods in reply. Finally he cracks, “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream looks up furrowing his eyebrows. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been weird the past couple days. You haven't said anything more than ‘yeah’, ‘sure’, or just a noise. You‘ve barely talked to me: what's going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing! It-It's nothing, I just have...have a lot on my plate right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You've barely bothered to hangout with me! I haven’t been able to do anything with you!” George can feel the frustration and turmoil bubble in his stomach, getting more and more upset at the fact he knew there was something wrong, yet Dream didn't want to tell him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind.” Dream tells him, voice unwavered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, i know. Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? I'm your friend, you can talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t!” Dream tells him, and George’s lips stretch into a thin line</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you don't trust me then, fine! I can't force you to tell me.” George says, struggling to keep his voice even. His eyes burn as tears threaten to fall, and he inhales slowly through his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you-” George scoffs, and shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Dream asks, voice stern and borderline angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you even want me here anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The deafening roar of silence comes back in waves, and George could have heard a pin drop. One answer would change everything for George. The food that they had been eating long gone cold, and he can feel the bitter aftertaste still on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course i want you here” Dream tells him, although his face doesn't show it, completely slack and devoid of any emotion that convinces George he’s telling the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George lies to himself a lot, but for the first time in a while his mind was extremely blunt. Dream absolutely did not want him here, and that hurt more than getting rejected. He could handle rejection, because it wasn't the end of anything, they could laugh it off and move forward. But this? There wasn't any moving past this, and both of them knew that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George’s walls, his castle, his spires, the paradise he's created to shield his heart from pain and suffering did absolutely nothing if the one person who would break him was able to waltz right in.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don't. I can see it.” George tells him, “Is it something that I did? To make you not want me here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what is it? I deserve at least a reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't tell you.” Dream’s lips are pulled taut, as if he’s trying to hold back tears. George, on the other hand, has failed to hold back the hot tears falling from his eyes, and they fall before he can stop them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” George’s voice cracks. He clears his throat but the tears keep streaming.He hates this, the whole point of him hiding his heart away was so that he wouldn’t be this vulnerable, but here he was, heart on his sleeve due to the man sitting six feet away from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn't matter”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it matters, I want to know!” George snaps, and Dreams nostrils flare. He knows he’s struck a nerve but he doesn't care anymore, doesn’t think as he  continues, “What’s so terrible that you can’t tell me? You can't even look me in the eyes! Am I that terrible to be with?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George knows he's losing his composure, his chest burns and a hand slaps over his mouth to muffle a sob, Dream doesn't look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care?” Dream asks him, voice empty and cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I care about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care about me?” Dream asks, George hears his voice break, but he doesn't move. The question still stands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If George ever thought Dream doubted their relationship he was absolutely sure now, and it was enough to nearly bring him to his knees, “Because, Dream- what kind of question is that- you’re my friend!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you should pack your bags.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George’s mouth falls open, and he breaks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard me, fuck you. You can-can’t just pull this shit on me out of- out of nowhere, one day you’re completely fine and then the next you just want me to leave!” George yells, “and you cant even tell me why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George clenches his fist, and struggles to keep his breath even, he was trying his damned hardest to keep his composure but the man in front of him was making it extremely difficult. He notices Dream clench his jaw, and realizes Dream was more upset than he let on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I need a reason? This is my house you know!” Dream’s voice grows louder, “This is my house, I'm being nice by letting you stay here! The least you can do is be grateful about that. It's obvious you don't want to be here, so I think you should go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least tell me why!” George growls, glaring daggers at Dream who still hasn't made eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't need a reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes you fucking do! Im not just some random guy off the street, im your fucking friend!” George screams at him, more tears fall down his face, he doesn't bother to wipe them off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that George! That doesn't mean I owe you anything, and besides why is it so important to you?!” Dream argues, and George stops. His heart is pounding, his nose is running, and his lungs burn. He feels dangerously close to sobbing, to breaking down right then and there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you even look at me?” George says, voice betraying him and cracking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What.” Dream looks at him for the first time during the entire conversation, and he can see a flash of something go by, but whether it was regret, pain, or anger he couldn't tell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George.” Dream looks at him, “George, I need you to tell me something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George looks at him, and the way Dream was looking at him nearly makes him collapse. Dream’s face is blank, empty of any emotion. None of his usual charismatic smiles, his kind eyes, or his loving tone. Nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing left was a shell of a man he used to call home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you love me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George’s breath gets caught in his throat, he frowns, “Of course I love you, you’re my closest frien-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not as a friend.” Dream interrupts him, and George’s heart drops. He knows, George knows he knows, and how he figured it out he would never know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you love me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George has two options, he either spills right now, in the hope it convinces Dream to tell him what's going on, to let him stay, to fix things. Or he could lie, like he’s been lying to himself, he could say no, leave, and hope things go back to the way things were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George was already fighting with Dream, but his heart and brain were having their own version of tug-o-war. He debates if he should keep up this terrible lie, or just tell Dream everything. Logically he knows the most reasonable answer would be to confess, but his heart is too scared of the rejection it begs him to lie. His heart usually never wins him over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” George sighs, he closes his eyes and drops his head, waiting for whatever came next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If George had had the courage to look Dream in the eyes, he would have seen the tears fall on Dreams face, seconds before he wipes them off. If George had looked up he would have gotten an answer he’s been looking for since they started fighting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm going to reschedule your flight for sooner, I dont think it's healthy for us to be together right now. Not in this state.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George nods, completely numb to whatever Dream had just told him, and he turns. Just before he walks up the stairs, he looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with Dream, expression still stoic as ever, but his red-rimmed eyes betray his true feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that's it?” George says, voice just barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream doesn't say anything, but the silence answers for him. With that, George goes up to the guest bedroom, heavy footsteps thud, nearly matching his racing heart. His heart, who was begging him to turn around, to go back and explain, to plead and beg and grovel, for a chance. He closes the door, drags himself to his bed, and lays there. In an unknown bed, in a completely different continent, in the house of someone who he doesnt recognize. His heart slows, as if it knows it's fighting a losing battle, and yet, it's still whispering sweet fantasies of arms around his waist, of hot breaths hitting his neck, that the person downstairs who had just taken his heart and stomped on it was still home. If home ment an cold and unloved house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hates crying but his body can't do anything to stifle the cries that escape his lips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cries, cries until his chest is burning, until his lungs are begging for air, until his face is blotchy and red. He cries until he runs out of tears, and even then he feels it's not enough to repair the damage done. Part of his brain tells him that this was bound to happen, that his love for Dream wasn't enough to make Dream love him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets up and packs his bags solemnly. When he's done, he hears footsteps just outside his doors, before a slip of paper slides under his door.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Booked a flight for tomorrow at 11am, I called you a cab for 9.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was it. The past four years, the time that George had invested in Dream - his career, his livelihood - everything George had meticulously built in the last couple of years, crumbled in the four seconds it took for George to read the note.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teardrops hit the paper before George could realize what was happening. He quickly wipes his face, and falls onto the bed. Closing his eyes and he hopes that this is all just one awful nightmare, that it wasn't real and that he’d wake up to freshly cooked pancakes, that he’d wake up and he’d still have Dream, have his friend, his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he wakes up in the morning, his heart is heavy enough to hold him down onto the bed. He can hear rain outside, how fitting, he thinks. The clouds darken the room, and he thinks that the deities that control weather are tantalizing him. His thoughts drift back to last night, and the thought of having to face Dream is enough to bring him back to tears.  Before he knows it, he's sobbing harder than last night, as the consequences finally settle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, after he wets his pillow and it grows uncomfortable enough for him to want to get up, he showers, grabs his belongings, and double checks he has everything. And as if walking through molasses, he makes it down the stairs. Dream isn't in the kitchen like he usually is. In fact, the house is empty, spare a note on the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Im sorry. Have a nice flight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Not even a goodbye, just that. George crumples the paper in his hand, and wishes he could punch a wall. He wonders how he matters so little to Dream, how he’s so insignificant. He hears a car honk outside, and assuming it's his ride, he grabs his thing and leaves, Dreams note falling to the floor in his rush to leave the house, and leaves Dream and their argument behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nine hours later, he’s finally home. Dropping his suitcases and other carry ons on his bedroom floor, he doesn’t bother to unpack after his long flight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Georges tries to ignore what has happened, for his hearts and his jobs sake. He didn't want to quit youtube, but if him and Dream left off on bad terms, he’d never recover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He plops down on his bed and falls asleep, only to wake up just as fatigued as before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>_</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Three weeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That's how long Dream refused to talk to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George was ready to go down to Florida and rip him a new one in person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be honest, he had completely moved on from the argument. It was normal, a part of life he just had not taken into account when it came to Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the past three weeks without Dream has to be the worst three weeks of his life, and he was ready to put everything aside as long as he had Dream back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the man wouldn't get back to him no matter how much he tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He calls Sapnap, and the latter picks up on the third ring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey man, whats up?” the man greets him, but George gets straight to the point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you talked to Dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...yeah? I was just on a call with him, why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He hasn't talked to me since I visited 3 weeks ago.” George sighs, rubbing his temple with his free hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, no way, why?” Sapnap asks, worry lining his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We got into a huge argument  just before I left. I've tried to talk to him, but he doesn't answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sapnap shifts, uneasiness lacing his words, “Jeez, that bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told him i loved him and he told me to pack my bags so yeah, it was pretty bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George can hear Sapnap shuffle across the line, before he murmurs into the phone, “you told him what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He asked me if I loved him romantically, I said yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Sapnap pauses, “um, and he hasn't said anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” George throws up a hand, he drops his head on the table, the thud surely heard across the line, “I’ve already moved on too, I just want to talk to him again. people already noticed that we haven't been in the same vc together in ages, and they're bound to start asking questions. I seriously just need to talk to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you're calling me because?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because he is actually talking to you idiot. Why else would I be calling you?” George sneers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ouch. I would have thought it's cause we’re also friends.” Sapnap says, but George doesn't laugh, and Sapnap awkwardly laughs at his own joke in an attempt to easy the thick tension. George realizes he’s come off to harsh and immediately back tracks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I'm just… i’m just really frustrated is all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, i can hear it through the phone. You seriously need a break man, you’ve been working yourself into the ground.” Sapnap tells him, and he can agree that he has, in fact, been pushing a lot more content out in the last 3 weeks to distract himself from Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George's walls were in near ruins, but his pride was determined on salvaging them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears Sapnap sigh, “Man, I didn't even realize you and Dream weren't talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He never mentioned it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, in fact he made it seem like you guys were perfectly fine, i have no clue why.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation lulls, George is about 4 words away from tears. He was alone, isolated, ignored, and lied to, and he wanted nothing more than to punch the man he was so deeply infatuated with in the face. He hated it, hated the fact Dream pretended they were okay, when he couldn't even send him a text, hated that he was being left behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most importantly, he hated that he still loved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After everything Dream had said, everything he had done. George still loved him, and he knew that even if Dream turned on him, became one of the shittiest people he's ever met (though he wasn't too far from reaching that goal), or dead. George would always love him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm gonna go. I-I dont… I don’t really know what calling was gonna solve.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can talk to him? Ask him what's up? It would be good for the both of you to have a mediator, in case you need someone to step in.” Sapnap suggests, and George smiles at the sentiment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to know if he’s okay. He definitely wasn't when I left.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can also ask him, but yeah, he doesn't sound good at all, I’ve tried multiple times to try and ask him what's wrong but he refuses to tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too.” George sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll figure it out, right?” Sapnap asks him, and if he knew any better he would tell him yes, but he couldn't lie to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was done lying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dont know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George, tired of the conversation and tired of his feelings, asks Sapnap if anything interesting had happened while he was gone. they catch up for a little, trying to lighten the mood, even if it doesn't work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When George eventually has to hang up, he pulls up Dream's contact and dials him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It rings, and George waits patiently, although he already knows what’s gonna happen. He lets it go to voicemail, and eventually hears the beep signalling him to start talking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream… listen i'm sorry. I know that I said things that struck a nerve, and you were right. you don't owe me anything, not an explanation or a reason.” George lets out a shaky breath, he breathes before continuing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I build walls, for myself. In my heart, I protect myself, because I'm scared, terrified, of what would happen if I got my heart broken. Did you know that you can die from a broken heart? I didn't, until I saw it on my feed.” George laughs, although there isn't any humor behind it, “I really miss you, i know we argued but, i really think we can move past it. I really think we can fix things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another pause, he can hear rain patter outside, “I meant what I said, even if you don't feel the same, I'll still love you. I don't think I could stop loving you, even if I tried my very hardest...I don't care, if you don't feel the same way. All I'm asking, all I want is something from you, to at least let me know you're alive? That you’re okay, i just need to know if you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sobs, and although he didn't mean to cry, this phone call felt too much like a goodbye, “Dream please, please I am begging you just let me know you’re okay, I really don't care if we never talk again after this, or if things go back to the way they were before, I do not care the only thing i care about is you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's always been you, you were my closest friend, my family, my home. You were, are, everything to me Dream, I'm not ready to let that go, so please. If you have ever cared about me, please send me a message. I am begging you, literally anything Dream please.” George sobs, barely able to choke out the last couple sentences without breaking down, he hangs up and throws his phone across his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George has never cried over someone as much as he’s cried over Dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't know if that's a good thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never gets a response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart is in pieces, he wanted so badly for things to go back to the way they were, for time to rewind and for him to never have visited, for the argument never to have happened, for Dream to still be with him. But as much as he bargains with whatever God is up there, these things don't happen, and he doesn't know how much more his heart could take. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his heart was never one to just quit, so he books a one way flight to Florida, not caring if Dream doesn't want him there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All George needed was a goodbye, he needed closure, because he was tired of driving himself in circles with worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The parking lot in Florida was just as humid as he remembers it. Even if he was here a little over a month ago, it still took him off guard. The sun was bright, and the sky was near clear; almost mocking him for the torrent of emotions coursing through him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last time he was here he left alone, he’d be damned to let it happen again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hails a taxi and tells the driver Dream’s address, he gets there in a little under 35 minutes, and mentally prepares himself for the ordeal the entire ride there. A bundle of nerves, George wanted nothing more but for them to work, for it to work. Even if he knew that the chances of that happen are slim next to zero.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart is beating out of his chest, as if it knows its going to see the person it was dying for, because of course a small part of him was still excited to see Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls his suitcase up the doorsteps, and knocks on the door with baited breath. He almost wished it was raining, the heat of the sun had caused him to sweat in the short trip from the taxi to Dream’s door. His forehead was lined with a sheen veil, whether from nerves or the heat, and his clothes were sticking to him uncomfortably. His palms had grown sweaty, even after he rubs them on his jeans, and he exhales to try and calm his nerves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door swings open and promptly shuts just as fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George steps back, but knocks again, this time speaking up, “Dream. Open the door.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me in, or ill break the fucking door down.” George warns, knocking again. When he doesn’t get a response he rears, and readies himself to ram into the door. He's about to lunge forward when the door swings open and stays that way. He stumbles a little, his forward momentum having been stopped too abruptly but he regains his balance and looks up at the man who had answered the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George had thought about this moment quite a lot on his way here, it had replayed in his mind countless times. He had imagined Dream, stunning as ever, opening the door and enveloping him in a crushing hug, muttering apologies and asking for him to come in, that they’d make up and they could finish their trip they had cut short.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d be lying again if he said a small part of him also wished Dream would confess to loving him back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, the man who opens the door is so vastly different from the Dream he knows, he nearly does a double take. His cheeks are hollowed, he has prominent eye bags, and he has most definitely lost an unhealthy amount of weight. Instead of the lean build, he was frail, thinner than a twig, and George was scared he would break to a gust of wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Dream growls, voice bitter and cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came to check if you were even alive, you haven't bothered to answer any of my calls.” George pleads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry, I'm okay, you can leave now.” Dream tells him before swinging the door closed again, but George stops him before it fully shuts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to tell me what the fuck is going on with you right now or i will call your mother and ask her myself.” George says, pulling out his phone. He can see Dreams eyes widen, and for the first time since their argument all those weeks ago Dream seems to be considering it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George sighs, and softens his expression, “Dream all I want to know is if you’re seriously okay, I'm not mad at you, but it's obvious that something is happening and I want to be there for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't.” was all he got, and once again Dream cant meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can't or you won't?” George asks, clenching his fist in an attempt to stop the tears threatening to spill over, he was sick of crying, sick of the pent up pressure trapped in his heart, sick of the man in front of him, sick of being in love with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't think I’d be able to tell you even if I tried.” Dream says, head hanging he can hear his voice crack, and he shifts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant what i said you know.” George starts, “I do love you, but the way your acting right now is selfish. I'm your best friend Dream, I care about you more than I want you. I wish I didn't care so much, so this would be easier, so I wouldn’t be so concerned, I wish a lot of things but they don't come true. The one thing I'm asking is that you talk to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you didn't care so much either.” Dream says, his lips are wobbling and he has tears running down his face, he looks the least composed of the two of them, as if it wasn't George who had laid his heart on the line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is that supposed to mean Dream?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It means I wished you didn't care, and I wish I didn't love you either, I wish this wasn't my reality, I wish a lot of things and none of them came true.” Dream chokes, he teeters, before walking to the coach and sitting down. Dream is obviously fatigued, George walks over, letting the door swing shut behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream can you at least try?” George whispers, sitting on the love seat adjacent to him, Dream looks over at him, and when George sees the look in his eyes it's enough to bring him back to tears. Dream looks broken, like the shadow of a man that he used to be and honestly George was starting to realize what might have happened, but the thought scared him more than he could deal with, so he pushed it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can't. I can't George, I can't tell you, because it's you, I don't want to- I can't hurt you, I've already done so much damage and I was hoping that was enou-enough to keep you away, to make you hate me,” Dream is openly sobbing now, his chest is heaving as he struggles to catch his breath but he keeps going, “I love you so, ridiculously much, and it hurts, but I can't stop loving you, and I want to stop hurting, so I thought that if I pushed you out, I made you hate me, that you would leave and I wouldn't have to deal with the, with the aftermath.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George gets up, and moves over to where Dream is sitting, and pulls him into a hug. Dream cries into his shoulder, clinging onto him as if his life depended on it, and he let him. While this wasn't what George had imagined would have happened he was content with just letting Dream cry. He feels near tears as well, but he remains composed for the sake of the man in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally after a couple more minutes Dream lets go, and looks up at George before giving him a weak smile, he rubs his nose, “I'm so sorry for what I said, I didn't mean any of it. I just, I didn't know how to, I don't know how to tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream stands up, he’s nervous, George can tell that much, but what for? He has no idea, and he wouldn't find out until Dream told him, but he was currently pouring himself a glass of water. George bounces his leg nervously, wishing Dream would move a little faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s on his way back to the coach, carrying another class for George, when something that George only imagined in nightmares happens, he collapses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George feels like he’s moving through molasses, he stands up and rushes over to where Dream fell, and when he gets there he kneels down, he was about to try and wake him up when things got exponentially worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream starts seizing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's one of the scariest moments of George’s entire life, he's rushing to pull Dream over into a recovery position, scrambling for his phone he calls 911, he can hear the operator answer, and he tries to tell her what happened, before giving her the address, he's panicking</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lungs burn, he has tears in his eyes, and he’s close to sobbing as he can do nothing but watch as Dream continues to convulse on the ground. After a couple of minutes, Dream stops seizing, George lets out a breath he was holding, and cradles his face. Theres foam at his mouth, and part of George squirms at it, but he continues to pull him into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream is still limp, unmoving, and unconscious. George continues to cry and hold him, but he felt too heavy, as if the weight of what had just happened was too much to bear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon the paramedics are knocking at the door, George lays Dream gently down and goes to answer, he lets them in and they load Dream onto a gurney and roll him out into an ambulance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George feels like he's walking underwater, his mind is muddled, and the voices and noises outside are muffled and barely distinguishable. He’s pretty sure he's in shock, but he doesn't pay any attention as he scrambles into the ambulance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The paramedics have cut off Dreams shirt, and have hooked up the sensors to monitor heartbeat and blood pressure. Just when Goerge thinks they're out of the woods, Dream begins seizing again, and Georges heart nearly stops, the paramedics rush to insert an iv, too deliver anti-seizure medication, soon after the convulsing stops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The paramedics are barking out orders and information and more garble that George doesn't entirely catch, his brain is working on fight or flight and he barely understands anything that has happened in the last couple minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They reach the hospital shortly after, and George is led to a waiting room as Dream is transferred to a patient room. He’s shaking, and he’s pretty sure he's also crying, the last 45 minutes having been a nightmare on earth, he’s near collapsing himself. He’s barely holding himself together, with the knowledge that Dream isn't dying, but he’s definitely not okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A healthy twenty-one year old shouldn't be seizing, they shouldn't be in a hospital, he shouldn’t be here. George’s body is near numb as he laments the gods for the hand he’s been dealt. He thought they were going to be okay, they were making progress, but the realization of what Dream had been keeping from him sets in, and he doesn't know if he’d be able to face reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His walls weren't this strong, and he knew his love for Dream had worn them down enough to where he didnt know how he would live with himself if something goes wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George doesn't know how much time has passed when a nurse comes and tells him where Dream is being roomed, it could have been minutes or hours. Everything was still a blur and he was nearly dragging himself to where Dream was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Room 116” the door reads, and George tries to save it to memory when he pushes open the door, laying in the hospital bed is Dream. He looked impossibly frail, his eye bags were more prominent, and his cheeks so sunken that he almost looked like a skeleton, the hospital lights not helping in making him look anymore lively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George sits at the seat adjacent to the bed, and puts his head in his hand, he feels like crying all over again, but his body is exhausted, he lays back, and even though it isn't anywhere near comfortable he ends up falling asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he wakes up he’s disoriented, confused, and doesn't remember where he is. He looks around and everything comes back in waves, nearly draining George if it wasn't for the man on the bed smiling at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Dream greets, sitting up in his bed, careful of the wires strung around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” George says, voice cracking from sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream smiles, even if it's sad and full of guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to tell you, I was going to explain, I swear.” Dream rushes, eyes watering, but George shushes him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream I do want an explanation, but only when you're ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry” Dream apologizes, and George's eyes sadden. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream you don't need to apologize. I already forgave you.” George grabs Dream's hand and squeezes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Im sorry, I don't know wh-why i thought pushing you out was a good idea, I thought yo-you hated me, so I never called, I was scared, I was real-really scared, I still am but I need to tell you, I want to.” Dream continues, quietly crying, but George wipes the tears away with the pad of his thumb. </span>
</p><p><span>“That day, when I went to the doctors, they told me they needed to do some extra tests, they thought they saw something, so to make sure they ran them,” Dream’s voice trembles, but he keeps going, “Mets, or uh,</span> <span>met-metastases, as its called.”</span></p><p>
  <span>George can vaguely remember hearing about it somewhere, but he can't recall what it exactly means.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” George asks him, although he’s starting to remember now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Its, uh, cancer in the brain.” Dreams replies, voice barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George tries, really tries, to keep his voice even, “is it bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they- the day I went, they took a brain scan,” his voice cracks, George’s stomach drops, “it, there's a lot. They said I had, maybe six months at most.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Six months. George has never thought that was a short period of time, but now that it was right in front of him he didn't know what to think. George looked at Dream, who was staring right back at him. He looked broken, as if the diagnosis hadn’t already nearly brought him to pieces. The look of resignation on Dream’s face was enough to make him shatter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And there, there isn't a cure?” George asks, although he’s sure he already knows the answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The head surgeon of neurology came in today, but we haven't- we haven't really discussed options.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if on cue the door swings open to reveal the doctor and a string of nurses who came into check on Dream, George looks up at him, and then to Dream, before swinging his chair over to face the surgeon. He grips Dreams hand, as if they both knew what was about to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor introduces himself, and launches into a spiel about Dream’s health history, and some more information that George doesn't really pay attention to, instead he chooses to focus on Dream's hand, who’s gripping his own as if he needed some sort of anchor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His ears perk up when he hears the doctor mention “treatment options” and he looks back at the doctor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have really two options at this stage Clay, because of the location of the mets, there is a possibility of a removal, but it's risky, there is a very high chance you can die on the table, or that you’d never wake up.” the doctor tells him, and George thinks he’s a little blunt but doesn't argue, “or, because the mets aren't posing an extreme danger to your life, you can leave them and enjoy the rest of your life, although it would be severely limited.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I leave it, how long would I be alive?” Dream asks, and George looks over at him with wide eyes. Dreams expression is stoic, and he looks determined to fight, but the question he had just asked felt too much like accepting his death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We would have to do another brain scan, as we don't know the level of progression, but I can estimate around 2 or 3 months at most.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George feels like throwing up, when he looked over at Dream he felt he was more phased than he was, but he also remembers Dream had been coping with it for the last couple weeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I undergo surgery?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would depend on a lot of things, but there is a chance you could have the rest of your life.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George feels like he's undergoing a social experiment and he was dealt an impossible ethical dilemma. 3 months or the rest of Dreams life, yet the risk of him dying in 3 days was too high for him to bear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If George was being selfish, he would play God and change the outcome. He would do anything so that he could have the rest of his life with Dream, so that he could move to Florida, so that he could wake up in the mornings in tangled sheets and tangled limbs, so that he could kiss Dream in bed, or in the kitchen, or in the middle of the street if he wanted to. If he had his way, he would make it so that Dream and him were able to enjoy the ridiculously domestic life he’d dreamed of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this wasn't up to him, as much as he begged and sobbed and pleaded for it to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream sighed, and shifted in his bed, “Can I have some time? To think about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, but if you do decide to undergo surgery you would need to decide by tomorrow. But the longer you wait the higher your risk of not making it through.” the doctor warns, and with that him and the nurses leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream?” George asks, voice tentative, as if he’s afraid he’ll say something that might set him off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Dream looks over at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna be honest with you,” Dream tells him, voice strained as if he’s struggling to hold back tears, George’s breath hitches, “I dont think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's okay, its okay to not be okay right now,” George tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent the rest of the afternoon catching up, hand in hand, until the nurses came to take him in for more tests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George sat in the empty room, for the first time being left alone since he was ushered into Dreams room. He felt hollow, and empty, and as much as he wanted to be there for Dream he didn't know if he was strong enough to be the one holding Dream up. He rubs his eyes, and goes down to the cafeteria to grab some food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later him and Dream are back in his room, and theyre laughing over some dumb joke that Dream made about hospital food. George had chosen to forget about the worries of the future and just enjoy his time with Dream.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You pay so much for medical treatment, you’d think they splurge on better food. LIke Jesus, not even a dying man would eat this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George laughs, and grabs the pudding cup on his table and eats a little, before nearly spitting it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is atrocious, so so bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know! Like the least you could do is get jello instead.” Dream complains, and George just admired him as he continued to vent about shitty hospital food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream catches him staring, and quirks an eyebrow, which makes George go red before burying his face into the hospital bed. Dream laughs and puts his hand on George's hair, George turns his head to the side so he can see Dream, but Dream doesn't pull his hand away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit there, admiring each other, as if they are love for each other was palpable, and George wanted nothing more than to kiss Dream right then and there, to be able to cuddle with him, he wanted nothing more than to be able to be in bed with Dream, to lazy mornings and late night talks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George would have given anything to be able to spend the rest of his life in Dream's arms, but the universe was pulling him away much too fast. Pulled him away as if he wasn't George’s lifeline, as if he would be okay if Dream wasn't with him anymore. No matter how much George protected himself with his walls, the universe was able to tear them apart faster than he could rebuild, and Dream was the catalyst for his demise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream was a catalyst, a paradox, and an angel all at once, and George was left in the aftermath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs, and sits up again, Dream frowns and gives him a concerned look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream, I-” George’s voice cracks, “I don't know what to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at Dream and he wishes he wasn't the one being so weak and pathetic, Dream is the one with a death sentence not him, and yet the thought of him losing Dream was enough to make him feel like he did. He was terrified, and yet guilty that he was the one showing pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Dream asks him, his hand cupping his cheek</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't know how to act, or what to say, or what to feel. You’re the one thats sick and yet I can't-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George just because I’m the sick one doesnt mean it isn't hard for you either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George smiles and leans into Dream's touch as a tear runs down his face, which Dream swipes away </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I could switch places with you, I would.” George tells him, voice wobbling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. no I don't think I could be the one losing you,” Dream tells him, voice stern and determined, “If I had to die for you, I’d die over and over again, and I wouldn't care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's true! I’d fight the world for you, I’d fight ten-thousand armies for you, I’d fight the mightiest gods and the strongest warriors so that i could be with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All you need to fight right now is the stupid cancer cells in your brain.” George tells him, and Dream smiles before pulling him into a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George wasn't going to lie, he’d dreamed on countless occasions what it would be like to kiss Dream. Sometimes he thought it would be magically, other times he was afraid it would be awkward. But the only word he could describe their first kiss with was bitter sweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream was gentle, his hand still cupping his face he tilted his head, their noses bumped a little, but George only repositioned to make it less uncomfortable. Dream’s lips were softer than what he had expected, after being stuck to a hospital bed, their mouths moving in a rhythm that matched to their own pace. The kiss was one of the nicest ones he’s ever had. George was practically on cloud nine, but the sensation of tears hitting his cheeks, and the building sorrow in his heart made it feel almost like a goodbye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George wasn't ready to say goodbye, so he pushed the thought out and focused on Dream instead, he focused on the hand that had moved from his jawline to his hair, on the warmth of Dreams mouth on his, on Dreams other hand moving to his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually George had to pull away to catch his breath, and he laid his head down on the crook of Dreams neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said, you would fight the world for me,” George starts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream hums, and George feels Dream's chest move with his breathing, “yeah, I’d do anything for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” George tells him, hoping the three words were enough to encompass the array of emotions he had for the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They lay there for a little while, at some point George had moved from the chair he was sitting in to lay next to Dream who was still carding his fingers through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually George fell asleep, and wasn't woken up until the nurses did their next round of check ups, they were nice enough to wait till he had left the bed to take Dream’s blood pressure and more, once they finished they left them to their own little world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George had been planning on asking what Dream was going to choose, whether to undergo surgery or not. Except he was too afraid of his answer, worried that if it was something George didn't like he was going to convince Dream to do the other option. Which isn't fair of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually curiosity got the best of him, and he asked anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I havent- I don't really know yet, but I'm close to making a decision I think.” Dream replies, sighing out of frustration at his shitty situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you come up with your answer, you’ll tell me right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, I'd always tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Content with that answer George smiles and lays his head on Dream’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually visiting hours ended and George had to head back to Dreams apartment, as much as he was against the idea, he couldn't argue with the nurses, and he was too exhausted to put on up anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he walks through the door the first thing he’s hit with is familiarity, even though he’s only been in the house for 3 weeks at most, it felt like home because it was tied with Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream would always be his home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patches, who was asleep on the couch, had run up to George, excited that another sign if life had finally returned, and George felt a pang of guilt at having forgotten she was still in need of care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly feeds her, after an entire adventure searching through cabinets for the cat food, and she meows before eating through her canned tuna meal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once done with that, he heads up to the second floor, wondering whether to sleep in the guest bedroom or in the master. But the question is answered for him when he realized there weren't any other beds made for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He settles on sleeping in Dream’s bed, seeing as it was the only bed with sheets, and realizes he enjoyed sleeping in his bed. It smelled of Dream and it made him feel as if he was in bed with the real thing instead of alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day, he's back in Dreams bedroom first thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had gotten ready in record time and was at the hospital before Dream was even awake, which he was excited about, because it meant that he could surprise Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually the younger man’s eyes flutter open, and he looks around until his eyes catch sight of George, he smiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>George whispers a good morning and Dream responds by giving him a kiss, which he still wasn't used to but didn't complain either way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spent the morning gossiping about the hospital staff and eating crappy cafeteria food, before the doctor was back again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but Clay we need to know if you’ll be undergoing surgery or not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George either has a very obvious physical reaction, or Dream can read his mind but before he knows it a hand is taking his and squeezing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will be undergoing surgery.” Dream responds, and George doesn't exactly know how to feel about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we will get you prepped as soon as possible” and with that the team of doctors and nurses exit, leaving Dream and George on their own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream looks at him and the first thing he does is he kisses him, and then, once he pulls away, he tells him not to worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll be okay George, but I want to fight. Not doing the surgery, it feels like giving up, and I don't want to give up just yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George is dangerously close to crying again, and Dream keeps going.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be able to wake up and make you pancakes, to wake up and just listen to you talk about whatever meaningless dream you had, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don't want to do it with the threat of me dying at any moment, I can't do that. And I cant put you through it either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish, god, I wish I could do all the things we had originally planned, I promise once I'm out of here I’ll take you to Disney World, and to Universal Studios, and we can go travel, around Europe, and go to as many places as we can. Enjoy a glass of wine, on a beach somewhere in France, or maybe kiss on top of the Eiffel tower. George there's so many things I want to do with you, but if there's a chance that I’d die unexpectedly, I can't do that to you George, I can't. It's too hard for me to deal with that, its to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream.” George cuts him off, “I understand, okay. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream nods and sniffles a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Dream if you do this surgery, you better fight you’re goddamn hardest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several hours later, after Dream was prepped and wheeled into an operating room, George was sent to the main lobby. He sits down and nervously bounces his leg, knowing the surgery would take at least 10 hours without complications and more if they ran into problems. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>These 10 hours were going to be the longest 10 hours of his life, he didn't know if he’d make it through without throwing up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tries to push through, but at the 8 hour mark he makes his way to the nearest bathroom and heaves, spilling out his lunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He groans, and rests his head on his arm. He was nauseous, nervous, and terrified all at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes his way back to the waiting room, and one hour later the doctor George recognizes as Dreams surgeon walks in, followed by two nurses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“George?” the doctor calls out, and George's head swings up at the mention of his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor sees him and makes his way over. George’s mind is racing, the only coherent thought he could recognize was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>the doctors were too early.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those two words were enough to make George’s entire world turn upside. He felt like throwing up again, but he had nothing left in his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vaguely he can hear the doctor tell him they did everything he could, but that Dream had succumbed to the huge amount of pressure they were putting on his body. And that he didn't make it through.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands were numb, but he can see them shaking, he can see the tears fall, can fell his chest heave as he begins to sob. He can see himself fall into pieces, turn into dust at the grief, the pain ,the sorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>George wished his walls were strong enough. But he knew the minute Dream had made his way in George wasn't going to make it out the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His world, his heart, and everything he had ever believed in had changed the minute he had fallen in love with Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't know if he’d ever recover. His walls would be left in ruins, his heart scattered in the places he had ever touched or seen or talked to Dream. He wouldn't be able to pick them up and put them back to the way they were before Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because like he said, Dream was someone you can't just move on from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind wanders back to the last conversation he had ever had with Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“George, if I die.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dream please don't-” George begged, but Dream cut him off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, you need to listen because there is a very high chance I wont see you again and I need to tell you this, so please, just listen.” Dream tells him, and George closes his mouth, he wants to argue but he can't bring himself to do anything but nod.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If I die, I don't want me to hold you back.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What does that mean?” George could feel the tears building up, and his face flushed from the threat of crying.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I mean, that if I’m not here anymore, I don't want the memory of me to hurt. I know it will, at first, because that's a part of grieving. But I want there to be a time, sometime in the future, that you’ll be able to look back, at the memories of us, at my face, and our love. And that it won't hurt anymore, because the last thing I want to do is hurt you.” Dream grab his hand and pressed it against his lips, but he keeps going.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I wasn't lying when I said that I would fight every army, the entire fucking world if I had to, so that you could be with me. Because I love you so so much, that sometimes it makes my heart hurt, because my heart isn't big enough for my love for you, it can't handle it, and sometimes it makes me wonder what you did to make me love you this much.”  Dream is crying now, but George wipes away his tears.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But the other day, while you were sleeping, I came to the realization that the reason I love you so much is because you allow me to love this much, you made my heart bigger, you opened my eyes to a world where I could love you, and kiss you, and tell you sweet nothings into the dead of night because you exist.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I want you to remember that, so that when you think of me, it won't hurt, it’ll only make you feel undying, unwavering love. So that my memory isn't tied to loss only to smiles, and laughs, and everything that has ever made you happy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream's dying wish was that George wouldn’t be grieving him for the rest of his life, and even though he knows it's going to take years to move on, to be able to live a life without Dream, he knows he’ll try his damned hardest to make it there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because as long as he loves Dream, he knows that somewhere in the afterlife, wherever Dream is, he loves him just as much.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Promise me you won’t forget, promise me that you’ll learn to love as hard you loved me again, the last thing I want to do is change the rest of your life.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh Dream, you already have.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And there it is!!</p><p>holy crap i spent the last week working on this and when i tell you a lot of this was new for me im not lying, this is my first romantic fic, and my longest fic.</p><p>I want to thank my beta's and everyone else who helped motivate me and just be there while i was writing this fic, i really truly appreciate it, GM, abby, mossy, root, malt, and more you guys are the best!!</p><p>sorry again</p><p> Comments and Kudos really motivate me and make my day so leave one below!! id really appreciate it :]</p><p>OH also follow me on twitter <a href="url">https://twitter.com/georgIvr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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